dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
