I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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