Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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