I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
