It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
