sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
