Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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