hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
