Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.