I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table