Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
