can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
