Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
