wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
