Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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