i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
