Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
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Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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