Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Pooping to opera.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize