Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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