We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
