when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
