My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
