Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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