You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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