Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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