I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
