Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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