SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
