i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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