bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
