sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
