you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
