umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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