if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
