Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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