she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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