Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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