just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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