Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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