His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
