Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
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they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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