Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
