New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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