p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
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She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
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He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize