the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize