no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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