She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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