his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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