So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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