Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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