You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am naked and annoyed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
