im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
