I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need water and some morals
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
