Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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