I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
