D3 body, D1 cock
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
