I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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