I cannot find my penis.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize