Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
