the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
