I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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