Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
