So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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