loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
